Do you believe in ghost?

It's been quite a while that I have been pondering if I will share my "unexplainable experience" of an encounter with my dad who just recently passed away here in my blog. But I keep on telling myself that is something personal and besides I am not sure if people will believe me. But then, it is always relieving to share stories like this.

Four days after the death of my dad one of our neighbor who is a known medium dropped by in our house. She was my sister's friend and she already narrated to us numerous occassions of her close encounter with the ghosts. But then of course, it is your prerogative to believe it or not. I wasn't there it was only my sister who was accommodating her. They were seated on the living room of my parents' house when suddenly the medium looked on the corner of the house and seemed to smile at somebody. My sister guessed then, if my dad was indeed present. She nodded her head. The two tried to avoid discussing the presence and opted to talked about other stories; when she was about to live I arrived the medium bid us goodbye and whispered in my ears that my dad apparently wants to talk to our mom. I then told her that I was wondering if my dad ever knew that I was there. As soon as i said those words I heard voice who called my name one time. And then i suddenly had goosebumps everywhere. I had a very strong feelings at that moment that my dad was there watching us.

I have never seen the movie ghost but if it's really true, I was glad I had that encounter for I felt he was there. it made me so happy.


I have never took a plane ride in my life. Not because I cannot afford one (probably maybe :-) but simply because I am afraid.

Everytime I would go to Cebu, Boracay or fvisit my riends in the provinces I have never opted to buying plane tickets no matter how much I am pressed with time I always end up braving hours of bus ride and ferry ride. I have fears of flying. I am not ashamed because this isn't a rare case. Yesterday I met my long lost friend who's been living in Dubai for fifteen years now. I after we have graduated in college she ended up working in a hotel in Dubai. When she narrated to me her trip going back to Philippines I was so scared for her. She said their plane passed a very strong turbelence and she thought she was gonna die. Her images of her life and her childred passed before her very eyes. She survived. I asked her if she would take the plane again, she said that no matter how scary it could be she has no other means for it is her only way to visit her family back in Philippines. How I wish in the future they could build a teletransporting machine to zap us in the place we want. That would be cool and that would mean less stress on bombing or any terrorism. No need too for hours of waiting in the airport.

Rice rice baby.....

I remember as a kid our parents often told us on the importance of valuing each grain of rice we find in our plate. We cannot leave the table not unless we finish off the rice served on our plate.

Our grandparents have rice plantation in the Visayas and they knew how hard it is to cultivate this most important grain in our daily lives. It is true that rice occupies an important statut in our society. But we the recent rice hoarding going on I cannot help but sigh on this aggravating situation. Every morning our market is already jampacked by people lining up to buy the "so called' affordable NFA Rice that cost around only 18 pesos per kilo. Everytime I see the people lining up there It further shows me how Filipinos would sacrifice everything in the name of having a rice. But yesterday as I read the newspaper, I've learned that a grandfather died of heatstroke while lining up for this cheap rice. I felt an intense anger over this news. Somehow Im asking myself if its really true what they say that it was the Arroyo's adviser's tactic to deviate our attention from the ZTE corruption issue that everybody was too preoccupied to rally for 2 weeks ago before this rice hoarding issue surfaced. Arroyo being a good economist boggles my mind of the same question. Knowing Filipinos we would definitely fight for having something to eat more than politics. Hmmmm, this strategy is way far inhuman if its really true.

Cebu Cannister Scandal

What does cannister, anus and Cebu hospital have in common? They are all the culprit in a highly sensationalised video incident that happened last year.
I'm pretty sure you have heard recently of this big scandal that boggled our society over this You Tube uploaded video of a gay patient on an operating table where laughters and insults from doctors, nurses and other hospital staffs as seen on the video while doing the operation. Most people who are unaware of the incident would wonder why the give so much fuss about this? The truth is the gay patient was being operated for having a body spray cannister stock in his anus (for a story nobody knows :-) he heheh ). What was scandalizing on the issue was not the fact that this gay had a problem because of his creative sexual practices but on the lack of professionalism on the part of the people to whom we entrust our lives when we are sick; doctors and nurses. We could hear loud laughters on the background as if the gay was giving birth, 'baby is out, baby is out'. When desperate housewives used as a punchline slightly attacking doctors who graduate from Philippines everybody got offfended. But this misbeaheavor somehow revendicates this joke.
So what are the lessons learned on this story: if you are gay don't get too drunk with your lover or it might end up into something you will regret after. And if you are sick be sure that you are under the hands of doctors and nurses that you can trust. If you are lucky you will still be able to catch this much talked about video in the You tube!

Im still in pain....

It's been more than two weeks since my dad passed away our lives start to be back to normal but no matter how much we try to do every time we think of our good times together we cannot help it but cry. I know that crying and letting go is so important in this healing process but it is truly hard to say goodbye to someone you love so dearly and you know you will never have the chance to see him again. I know that I am not alone in this situation because there are hundreds or maybe thousands of people out there who have lost their loved one. I always thought that I am a courageous person and that nothing can bring me down. But this emotional burden that I am carrying right now is way beyond my capacity.

Last night as I watched Ricky Lo's interview with Kris Aquino about her own pain and battle on her mom (Corazon Aquino) fighting against colon cancer I cannot help but emphatized with her. It is true that we have gone through so much troubles and worries in life that we never imagine that in the latter years of our life there are challenges like these still in store for us. Kris and I are both lucky to have parents who gave us more than what we need and that is deep love and care from our parents. I am still lucky to have my mom with me but it will definitely take a lot of time before I will completely heal on losing my dad. But I am hopeful this day will come one day.

One bus ride away.......

I still haven't been to my dad's wake.

Please do not think that I am un ingrateful daughter because that is not the case. I have still tons of things to attend to and I guess the main reason would be, is that I am too scared to see him. I am too afraid to face the reality that he is not there anymore. I am too scares to see his things, his favorites clothes that we bought for him, his wheel chair, everything on this house is my dad we will definitely feel so lost and empty.

I didn't sleep well last night. I have all the images of my dad from the last time I saw him. There was even a small misunderstanding between my sister and him, but we were able to fix things out. He was seated on his chair, that chair he used for long time with a mug of coffee on the other hand. I kissed him on his forehead and told him that he needs to lisren to my sister and he needs to take care of his health. He looked at me and said he will. These are only part of his memories to me now. It feels so weird. I know that I am just few hours of bus away from seeing him for the last time

Ode to tatay

I am a very shy person. I guess it is the reason why in here on my blog I am taking advantage of doing and writing about anything I will never be and couldn't be. I could shout out all the things I will never have the courage to say in public.

Today, I would like to honor my father with this post. I know he will never have the opportunity to read this nor to know what I want to tell him so this is a message directed to him on heaven.

You are the most wonderful dad in the world. We may not be blessed with material richness but your wittyness, courage, intelligence, and good sense of humor are characters that well described you. I will guard forever in my heart all the sacrifices that you have done for all of us. I will guard forever in my heart all those happy moments we shared together. In my eyes you will always be that strong and handsome guy. I love you so much Tatay.

Wherever you are, your memories and spirit will always be burning in our hearts.

Thank you Tatay!

How do we cope up on losing someone?

This morning while I was taking my shower my phone rang. It was my answering machine who took the message. My dad just died. I tried to call immediately my sister living with him but no avail to talk to them properly. They were at the height of their emotion , trying their best to accept the bad news.

When I have learned about it, I was so shock. My body is trembling from the inside. I hugged my husband and tried to be strong. I feel so empty from the inside. I am still trying to convince myself that its just a nightmare. For years my dad has been battling with the complications of his diabetes. I have been preparing myself long time ago about this but then at the back of my mind I always try to guard my hope that everything is gonna be alright. But this time its really the end. It is with deep sadness that I write this post. When we lose someone we love so much and we owe everything in life, how do we deal with it?

They say time heals any wound....I guess but it would probably take eternity.

Have you been rick rolled already?

One of the newest internet terminology I have learned today (you can check it's wikipedia version) is the term Rickroll, which means to be directed to Rick Asley's famous video in the 80's Never Gonna Give You Up, which had its all time high view during the April Fools Joke prank done by various media companies. The term rickrolled basically means, you been fooled to watch this video instead of the real link you wanted to see. The prank on rickrolling started last year May 2007 but it was last April that it reached almost 13 million people who have been rickrolled.

Well, I wouldn't personally mind watching this old video of Rick Asley for I used to love this music. so for the fun let's go and check it out.

She's on the way....

Oh she's on the way. Finally! That is what we all thought so.

Do not think that we are waiting for her arrival but definitely we will be waiting. Yesterday my cousin announced us the good news. After eleven years of marriage, they are finally blessed with their second baby. The first one was adopted of course. Announcing baby's arrival is always clouded with happiness, enthusiasm, or fear of rejection for others. Not everyone is blessed to have it at the time they are really planned. I remember when we heard the news that my eighteen year old niece is pregnant it was indeed a big shock for everybody. How about her studies? Who is the father? And other silly questions. I personally think that baby's arrival should always be a reason to for rejoice; no matter what the situation or the circumstance is. Whether the mom is married or single, the father is known or not it is never the baby's fault in the first place. And besides the mother's on the way are always very fragile. What they need is love, acceptance and support rather than judgment and criticisms. Im truly glad about thhis news, it was probably the reason why I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Do not think I'm dreaming of having the third baby, because it is not the case. I am just really excited over this announcement.

Fortune telling...

Do you ever believe in fortune telling?

I was asked yesterday by my boss to drop by in our Manila branch to do some errands for him. I accepted the task (not only because I had no choice) but also because I saw this as an opportunity to visit Quaipo Church, the church very close to my heart that I get to visit rarely since my husband and I moved to our house in Cavite. Quaipo church has always his charm as always; the multitude of people that caricatures the day to day life of people trying to make a living out of Nazareno. You would see some down on their knees praying for others for a price, the ones selling sampaguita garlands, candles and almost anything. Would you believe even your fortune. I knew this exist since time immemorial but I wonder how often they would have a customer that will believe their lies. I have never believed in fortune telling, I am sorry but that is the truth. I know for one that when my grandmother was still alive, she saw one hoping to know what future holds her. The fortune teller told her that his husband will die before. This worried my grandmom a lot and lead her to becoming an alcoholic. Naturally she died before my grandfather, for he lived for very very long time. In fact my grandmom never saw us because she died even before we were born.

So who believes in fortune telling. Me, never!

Washing dirty linens online..i mean public

During my coffee break on work, I normally spend my time reading personal emails. Most of the time I spend all the leisure time reading and replying their emails that I normally forbid myself on opening all of them as I consider it loosing a lot time. Bad me, I opened the email of my best-friend despite the fact I know it wasn't such important but must be some bunch of internet jokes and stuff like that. I wasn't wrong. Her email was emtpy just a link on a site and she told me to read it.

I must have been really eaten up by my personal life that I am too late of scandals everybody is talking about. Not that I think I am missing a lot of things but sometimes to be afloat we need to stay in the current. The link lead me to a blogger's site close to a tele-drama series maligning online one by one the villains characters in his life during his famous "love-life" with a filipino socialite. It didn't shocked me at all that it is a vendetta actions of an australian guy who fell in love and lost all his wealth to his ex-boyfriend. The blog has been read by millions of people all over the world in such a short time not because the blog was brilliantly written but simply because people love mingling with other people's misery. I feel sad about him. The veracity of what he is fighting didn't even occur to my mind. I just realised how powerful internet could be in influencing people's opinion, thoughts and reactions. Sad to say, that there millions of people reading this blog everyday and waiting for his online attacks on the so called people who ruined his life but he is ruining their life too in return. I will never go back and read this blog again. I am on his side because he is the one that's been cheated. But I do not support this means to gain back what we have lost.

Horrible dream...

Everything seem well last night before I went to bed.

Nothing special. I didn't watch something scary nor had some horrifying images before falling asleep. Everything was normal until I close my eyes. Everything was burning in my dream. All houses are burning. I could feel the immense heat enveloping me. It was so dark and yet the fire eating all houses and everything in between are disappear right before my very eyes. Then the scene changed I saw all my friends seated waiting for me with uncertain faces. I asked if they had already packed their things and If they already prepared for something catastrophic. And even before they could reply me, we all went running because all the remaining houses got burned. Nothing was left.

This is the first time I had a dream like this. I try to find meanings on this scary dream but I couldn't. Is this an omen for something that's in store for me or for my friends? i don't know. But I definitely need some answers. As I go to my usual morning routine I tried not to think about it for I dont want this dream to ruin my day. Hoping that this dream signifies only warmth love and strong longingness for my friends and loved ones.

Healthy walk

This weekend hubby and I decided to have spend our afternoon weekend strolling the along the newly built community park in our village. I have never seen my children this excited running and inhaling fresh ( ?) air. Trees and flowers everywhere (but were have the butterflies gone by). It reminds me when we were kids that playing on the green streets of Manila back then. Children of these days console themselves playing PS2 or any other games at home. Too bad. I made some reflections and decided I will push more my children to spend time witnessing these green stuff before it disappear before their eyes.