One bus ride away.......

I still haven't been to my dad's wake.

Please do not think that I am un ingrateful daughter because that is not the case. I have still tons of things to attend to and I guess the main reason would be, is that I am too scared to see him. I am too afraid to face the reality that he is not there anymore. I am too scares to see his things, his favorites clothes that we bought for him, his wheel chair, everything on this house is my dad we will definitely feel so lost and empty.

I didn't sleep well last night. I have all the images of my dad from the last time I saw him. There was even a small misunderstanding between my sister and him, but we were able to fix things out. He was seated on his chair, that chair he used for long time with a mug of coffee on the other hand. I kissed him on his forehead and told him that he needs to lisren to my sister and he needs to take care of his health. He looked at me and said he will. These are only part of his memories to me now. It feels so weird. I know that I am just few hours of bus away from seeing him for the last time